Monday, 30 September 2013


Sometimes.. just sometimes, I forget that I'm an old person and not everyone grew up in Palmerston North. Recently I let slip that we made some Christmas albums a way-way back and people keep hounding me about it, so here you go. Sorry Al.

These are three of my favourite songs from the second album. The whole idea of the project was to rip off NOFX's 'Fuck the kids' concept and write and record entire albums in a single week. We recorded all the songs at the Stomach in Palmy and often only got through a single decent take before moving on to the next song.

A Christmas Cracker -

This is my favourite song off the second record, it's about the insanity of Christmas and how people put on a brave face despite losing it at that time of year. I got in references to Universal Solider, MC Hammer and the last line (which people always ask about) is " find me here beneath your tree and I'm eating meat, and I won't say where I got it from, but Woofy needs some gravy".

Eat Tinsel And Die -

This was a lot of other people's favourite track off the album, it's about the first Christmas a 3 year old has to spend with their nearly year old baby sister. My favourite lyric from this comes from the maniacal bravado in "..the sandpit will be mine again!". This was me commenting on the selfish side of Christmas, but I frankly can't help loving this little tough guy, I think it's because I know he cannot win. - I only had one or two takes at this and was regularly out of tune and out of time, I was eating a cold BK chicken burger with extra mayo at the time.

The Clatter Of Many Hooves -

This is my second favourite song on the album, it's about an elf with little job satisfaction, feeling he does all the work while the reindeer take all the glory. We were running out of time having wasted a considerable amount of effort trying to cover "Snoopy's Christmas" and we were still 3 songs short of a record. I recorded both voices in one take and ad-libbed the whole second part. Something I'm still immensely proud of and which blew Andy Young's mind. Seeing as Andy was there and we never did manage to get through Snoopy's Christmas, we got him to play drums and sing the last song on the record, the very angry, very cantonese, "Smiley, Happy, Christmas Song". So here's your bonus track, you'll have to ask Andy what he's saying.

Smiley, Happy, Christmas Song -

A big thanks to everyone who performed on the records and special thanks to Dougal Ross for writing this silliness with me.

There were always supposed to be three albums, but while I wrote songs for a third, it never materialized. Maybe one day. When we're even older.

Monday, 16 September 2013


I am stepping down from my role as Media & Marketing Manager of the New Zealand Ice Hockey League.

I have held the role for 2 seasons and overseen a great deal of change, especially off the ice.

I saw that as my role, to focus on the fans and in doing so grow the game.

I feel I succeeded rather well, adding colour, atmosphere, providing good guidance and increasing the image, communication and patronage across the league.

It has been deeply rewarding, seeing the growth, being part of the community and effecting positive change. I have a lot of pride in what I've achieved and know that I have helped lay a solid foundation for the future. I am sure the structure I have put in place will continue to evolve the game and bring new people to it.

With so many positives, it can be hard to fathom why I am leaving, but the fact is I am exhausted.

Implementing the vast array of changes I brought to the league was no mean feat and required huge amounts of time, energy and patience. The hardest part is probably behind us, but I feel someone new to the role will freshen things up and I have told the league I will be available on a consultation basis should my experience need to be called upon.

I would now like to shift my focus back to what brought me into ice hockey, television.

I feel with the increase in the quality of the product that the move towards more televised coverage becomes ever more inevitable.

I do enjoy producing that content and think confining my efforts to this area will generate the best results.

And that is my hope, that in the 10th season of the NZIHL, we will be bringing the game to a screen near you.

There's a lot of water to pass under the bridge, but if the proposals put forward in my end of season report are adhered to then I see no reason why we cannot.

In the meantime, I need a holiday and some cricket.

Wednesday, 4 September 2013


It may shock you to learn I did not get the TVNZ job.

It may.

Still, not every employer is likely to see me as pure unbridled talent just as I don't see every employer as a 'golden diamond pony'.

I'm coming to the end of a cycle in which I've accomplished a lot on both personal and professional levels and am now re-evaluating how I want my life to proceed from this juncture forth.

Most notable is a change of attitude around how I want to work and who I want to work with.

My entire life I have always tried to please other people and as a reasonably capable person been able to undertake and execute most tasks with little tepid sweat on my brow. My ability to complete a wide variety of tasks has made for a highly varied professional life in which I have done all manner of jobs from the bottom up.

I could, if I wanted to, settle. Settle for a well paying job somewhere convenient, rake in the dough, buy a house and kill myself slowly that way. Pretend to be someone I'm not, please other people and be rewarded for it.

I consider that a creative take on suicide.

What I want to do is work with other people who want to work with me. People who inspire me and challenge me to do better. People who value what I bring to the group, but most of all people! *holds gun to the computer*

I dearly want to work in comedy if I can and avoid stand up where ever possible in getting there. Not likely, but not impossible.

I of course have other interests, the environment, social wrong doing, cricket.. but I feel I can best indulge myself in these areas and provide greater positive change through comedy.

No matter what role I have undertaken over the years, it has always been with a smile on my face and heartened by the smiles of others as I lighten the mood in even the most stressful environments. Nobody lost any fingers, so I think I brought a lot to the workplace. Even when certain jobs were gut busting or emotionally difficult, I still made jokes, I looked at the lighter side and I helped other people to see it too. Most people appreciated it, some people did not.

Perhaps employers didn't always get what they bargained for when they hired me, capable and reliable, but also humorous, creative and headstrong. What I want to do from now on when I apply for positions and work towards my goals is be more honest about who I really am from the get go.

It's a change I made on a personal level 12 years ago, to be myself. To stop pretending to be someone else for others sake and open up to being liked or loathed just for being me. I lost a lot of friends and for a while things were pretty glum, but the friends I've made since are all lifers. People who respect and care about me, believe in what I'm capable of and want me to succeed.

I feel the exact same way about them and I want to feel the exact same way about work.