Jokes Bro

I figured out some time ago that when I do comedy it's not enough for me to make people laugh. I also want to make them think.

Now this epiphany did not happen overnight, it took several years and when I finally boiled it down it took me several more to figure out how to go about it.

5 years ago I was doing quite well in comedy circles delivering a twee brand of stand up that mused through surreal scenarios and pop-culture references. I was popular and attracting my own crowd. People went out of their way to see me perform and I was deeply humbled by that.

Then as if a switch had been thrown, something changed. I remember the moment clearly, I was standing on stage at the San Fransisco Bath House in Wellington, people were laughing hysterically and as I gazed out at them through the spotlights, I loathed them for it.

I thought "How can people laugh at a joke that's not even funny?"

Dark times and from that point onwards my stage performances began a downward spiral from which my reputation could not claw its way back. I had begun to suck.

Now sucking comes with the territory if you're a stand up comedian, you don't always strike the right chord and not every audience will like you. You have to accept that sometimes you are going to suck, that people aren't going to dig what you're doing and that you're going to walk off stage feeling like you need to remove a hundred knives from your torso.

It's bleak, but you continue to do comedy for the good times and try to minimise the times that you suck as best you can.

I on the other hand was sucking full-time, dealing with a malaise of mind and spirit that crushed my confidence and had me doubting whether I was ever funny at all. I stopped performing.

Now I've never had stage fright. When I was young I loved being on stage, I loved being the centre of attention and I loved it when people listened to me. Suddenly, none of that mattered and the fun I found in stand up simply got up and left. Being on stage became the worst thing I could think of and I avoided it.

Over time I came to realise more about why I liked certain comics, certain music, certain scenarios and very slowly isolated the common threads that they shared which resonated with me. Little by little I began to put together the picture of myself which I have always struggled to form and feel comfortable with.

During this process I would occasionally re-take the stage to try something new, to test myself and the audience, but I never truly had the confidence I once did to hold that situation in the palm of my hand. 

But I did learn.

I learnt it wasn't enough for me to tell jokes. I've always enjoyed making people happy, but just making them laugh was not enough. I started to feel a sense of purpose about being at the front of the room holding a microphone, a sense of honour in being given that attention by other people.

Some comedians say it's your job to make people laugh and that if you're doing that then that's all that matters. This is fine for some people, but I believe it's my job to challenge people to think.

I feel people are going to laugh regardless, I am a funny person. How much they laugh may not entirely be in my control. If however I can walk off that stage knowing that I've prompted some new consideration, thought or debate, I will feel I have done my job.

Now that's not to say I will dabble purely in politics, my comedy has always had an element of smoke and mirrors. I'm not afraid to bury jokes or hide them behind what you find at face value. In fact if you ever see me perform and think "that's the joke", you've probably been had.

I feel like I am starting again and have a long way to go, but rest assured, I will hide things that I find funny in what I do for me and I say things you might find funny to make you think.