Thursday 14 February 2013

Boxing

I am good at lots of things, paperwork is not one of them.

I rate paperwork as one of the all-time limiting factors in anything I do. I get flustered, I get distracted and I get despondent. Even filling out the landing card at the airport fills me with dread.

My creativity acts like a twelve sided die providing a myriad of options, but never a straight forward answer. Incredibly useful when you're being creative or funny, incredibly unhelpful when you're trying to fill out a form.

For you see every conceivable alternative scenario passes through my mind as I put pen to paper, the question which seems to cause most consternation is "..what if?"

At this point the panic sets in, I freeze up and progress ceases. It's bizarre to think that when I can be so forthright, in charge and impulsive.. I can't apply the same qualities to paperwork. For me it's like swimming in cement and a hangover from every test I took in high school.

Some people would say I'm overreacting, but I can't remember the last time I filled out a form correctly. Whenever I hand one over or post it away, I do so with bated anxious breath as I await the inevitable response outlining what I have done wrong.

This anxiety often sets in long before the forms are due or have even passed under my nose. It's irrational, hard work and embarrassing.

Whenever I've been really productive, I've had someone working with me on the paper trail crossing the t's and dotting the lower case j's. For when some people see a form, they see a simple collection of boxes to tick. When I see a form, I see an endless array of possibilities. When someone sees me looking at a form, they see a weeping mound of quivering man fat.

I'm a can-do person, but also a can-happen-to person. Unfortunately if it can happen, it can happen to me. A strange quirk of my existence that anyone would surely call into question ..unless you know me.

I wish I could blame my paperwork problem on this quirk, but my own ineptitude is much more likely.

You can't be good at everything and I'm no good at this.

I am good at eating chocolate.

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